I didn't blog at all about Top Chef this season.
And you know who fucking won last week? A Korean American Top Notch Female Chef.
After the debacle that was Crying Beverly last year and the bullies she let shit on her, we had Kristen who didn't throw Josie's stupid, ridiculous chuckling ass under the bus, who put out strong, simple food, who didn't have some ridiculous ass mean girls all over her dick, and who had some BOSS ASS MOTHERFUCKING HAIR. I am still confused as to how you can only afford to go to Korea with 10 g's, but I'll let that slide.
I love you, Kristen. You have done me, us, my mother proud. Goddess.
Showing posts with label top chef. Show all posts
Showing posts with label top chef. Show all posts
Tuesday, March 5, 2013
Thursday, March 1, 2012
THANK GOD
1. I dropped my iPhone in the toilet at work the other day and broke them shits. I brought it into the bathroom even though I was just peeing, and then accidentally knocked it into the toilet while I was flushing. So yes, I had to dunk my hand in urine before pulling it out. The saddest part of this whole thing were the food pictures I lost on my phone from the Korean BBQ buffet place :( The best part of this whole thing was the fact that Adam's dad gave me an early birthday/Christmas present and offered to pay for the replacement phone. BOOYAH!
2. Now, Top Chef.
THERE IS A GOD BECAUSE PAUL QUI WAS RIGHTFULLY CROWNED TOP CHEF, MOTHERFUCKERS.
I love you, Paul Qui.
On Watch What Happens Live afterwards, Andy Cohen showed a screen shot of Paul crying (not the same picture above) next to a shot of his father crying. It was so amazing that I had to rewind it three times to soak it in.
Sarah, you suck. Forever. Fuck you and fuck your pasta.
2. Now, Top Chef.
THERE IS A GOD BECAUSE PAUL QUI WAS RIGHTFULLY CROWNED TOP CHEF, MOTHERFUCKERS.
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| how cute is this viewing party? |
I love you, Paul Qui.
On Watch What Happens Live afterwards, Andy Cohen showed a screen shot of Paul crying (not the same picture above) next to a shot of his father crying. It was so amazing that I had to rewind it three times to soak it in.
Sarah, you suck. Forever. Fuck you and fuck your pasta.
Wednesday, February 8, 2012
Top Chef: THE FINAL FOUR
Of course, Sarah took the spot in the final round. She admits she never won a quickfire and this was the one to win! Fuck off. Way to earn it.
And Paul Qui!!!! Totally the champion. I actually shed a tear when he bawled at the sight of his mentor. On Watch What Happens Live, they showed a still of his face at peak cry-your-eyes-out and it was amazing and I had to rewind and pause it to really soak it in. You win the car, you earn a spot, you are the fucking man.
Beverly, while you drive me nuts with your "Please pray for me, Jesus" face and alligator tears, you did it, girlfriend. Suck a nut, Sarah and Heather. If you win, my mom will text me something, "Jennifer, did u know a Korean American wuz on Top Chef! On the Korean papers! <:" in your honor.
Get it done.
Friday, February 3, 2012
Top Chef, Part Paul
WHY DOES PAUL CRY IN THE NEXT EPISODE?
DOES HE FAIL TO COMPLETE THE QUICKFIRE?
WHAT HAPPENS?
Is it just an obligatory part of this season - crying on camera? Because I'm hoping it's just that and nothing else.
I'm on the edge of my fucking seat.
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| aw look at his little hipster hair |
Friday, January 20, 2012
Damn, Beverly.
1. I honestly CANNOT believe she did not cry when she was eliminated.
2. I'm not surprised she was eliminated, but I hope she continues to survive Last Chance Kitchen. I am dying to see the finalists faces when they see these "losers" come back.
If you think I don't want to see a head-to-head Asian smash up for the finale, you are nuts. If you think my peeps would not fucking lose their shits if Ed or Beverly won, you are nuts.
My bet is on Paul though. Love him.
Labels:
beverly kim,
heather terhune sucks,
top chef
Thursday, December 8, 2011
Baohaus: Yum; Beverly: Ick
Let's talk about Top Chef before we get to Baohaus. The first two episodes were pretty goddam impressive considering they were ELIMINATING people before they even had an official Elimination Challenge. My ass was on the edge of the couch. The chefs all had impressive sounding backgrounds, there was a dude who looked like a gentle cuddleable Rick Ross and a shit ton of Asian peeps representing. Fast forward to however many episodes later, Rick Ross getting thrown under the boss for using frozen shrimp (damn!) and the challenges are all still great, but the chefs have no fucking personalities, there is no clear fan favorite (because they have no personalities), and the cliche "good looking one" is not good looking at all and says things that are funny because they are stupid, not because he is witty.
Let's talk about yesterday's episode and how Beverly cried AGAIN (do we even need to talk about the fact that she straight up bawled at the rodeo because she missed sharing the experience with her husband? Listen, I love Adam, but I would never be crying at a fucking rodeo over him, but whatever). She also did something that will never put her in my good graces. Our little friend Beverly used to idolize Edward Lee when she was growing up because it was the bomb to see a Korean American chef doing his thing, but the way she said the latter was in this sort of embarrassingly pathetic way, as if she thought she sounded dumb or silly saying it, as if she shouldn't say it, as if she was a fucking child. What is so giggly about having pride in your people and fucking SAYING IT?
Ew.
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| This shit is straight up captioned "Beverly Kim Is Still Crying Top Chef." YEP. |
Now moving on to more tasty treats. Chris and I went to Baohaus a few weeks ago.
| adobo bao and haus bao? |
| chairman and uncle jesse. |
And Chimpy the cat because he fucking rocks.
Labels:
baohaus,
beverly kim please stop crying,
Chimpy,
top chef
Wednesday, March 30, 2011
Saturday, March 26, 2011
KNIFE WOUNDS
Do you remember in this season of Top Chef All-Stars when Jamie cut her finger and left before she had to serve her dish because she needed two stiches? Do you remember when Fabio broke his finger on his season and SUCKED IT UP? Jamie, good riddance. I knew you would never make it far in this season.
I was chopping up a little bundle of mint and sliced through about a quarter of my ring finger nail into the nailbed. I get pretty skeeved out by these kinds of things, but I held it over the sink, squeezed out some blood, grabbed some bandaids, rinsed off the knife and finished chopping.
Labels:
kitchen accidents,
top chef
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